Heartbroken

The reason I love being a teacher is because God has given me such a heart for the kids at my school. As I sit here with tears streaming down my face I have to say it is also what makes days like today seem almost unbearable. I lost one today. And my heart is breaking in a way that I didn't even know was possible. This young man, now a sophomore, was one of the eighth grade boys from my first year of teaching. God really gave those boys a special place in my heart and I know that I will carry each of them with me all of my life. That's what makes this truly devastating to me. In eighth grade he was a wonderful student and just a great kid all around. He got to high school and really made some bad choices. I found out today that he and two other boys tried to go canoeing down a flooded river after school yesterday. The two boys made it to shore but he did not. They still have not found his body. What has even more of an affect on me is hearing the kids at school say things like,"well at least he was a Christian." This breaks my heart in a whole new way. Because he was not living like he was. He was in complete rebellion. And what makes me want to scream is that these kids don't have any idea what being a child of God really means. And I know that I have to walk back into that classroom tomorrow and I don't know what to say to these kids. I want desperately to be able to comfort them and show them who God really is. Days like this one remind me how desperate these times really are and that we have to embrace every opportunity God gives us to speak to someone. Please pray for his family and for the students at my school. This is going to be a rough time for them. My prayer is that God will use this situation for His good and maybe out of this some of his family and friends will see God.