Kaitlyn Genevieve Paterni

Aunt Amy is enjoying her new niece!

Whirlwind

There are several things I could blog about. I feel like I have a whirlwind of things going on so I decided this would be an update blog for friends who are far away. This is my favorite Halloween picture. There are tons of pics on my flickr link, so check them out. Our party was a success, I think fun was had by all. We even had a couple of surprise guests on skype that we were missing terribly. The tinman had trouble walking, the scarecrow was loosing his stuffing, and we had a sword fight by two young squires. It was a little warm and crazy but nothing is better than looking up in the midst of everything and having a smile spread across your face because everywhere you look you are surrounded by the family that God has placed you with. And seeing God work in the midst of conversation was a blessing.

I am moving! For those of you that didn't know I am moving in with Donnie and Bekah. In two weeks! I am not even sure how to fit that into my life. Ethan gave me the nod that I could move in. How cute is he. I have excitement and sadness at the same time. I have truly loved living with Ellen Beth and would not have traded it for anything. Many amazing God conversations late into the night. I appreciate that we don't beat around the bush with each other and neither one of us is afraid to speak our mind. We have had some great laughs, now we will just have to hang out more.

I am an Aunt again. My brother George and his wife Nicole had a baby girl, Kaitlyn Genevieve Paterni. Such a big name for such a little one. She was born October 18th @ 2:01 p.m., 7 lbs 14oz and 20 inches long. She is too cute, she looks just like her big sister Lauren when she was born. My little sister Emily can hardly wait to see her. She has taken to calling her veve, my dad is calling her KG, I guess we will have to see what sticks. We are going to Detroit for Thanksgiving so I will get to see her then. We are having a big birthday bash for my grandma she is turning 90.

My Mom and stepdad made the journey across the US and are now happily settled back in Gladwin, Michigan. My mom is so excited to actually witnessing a seasonal change. Having been in the California desert for several years she has missed Fall greatly. It is funny the things you take for granted. She grew up surrounded by those trees and seasonal changes and could not wait to leave them behind when she moved to California. Funny how we don't appreciate what is right in front of us sometimes.

Well, I could go on and on. I think that is enough for now. I promised a couple friends of mine I would do a better job of updating. :) Love you Sarah and Micah!

MEANWHILE AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE...........

This blog is dedicated to Micah and Sarah. They could not be here this year to share in what is quickly becoming an annual tradition, the float. I got an email from Micah which prompted me to get this blog posted much sooner than I probably would have. The theme this year for homecoming was "GUS SAVES THE DAY." We took full advantage of this theme to dive into our childhood and bring to life the characters we grew up with and still love today. So, we changed the Justice League into the "Gustice League" and hit the ground running. I can truly say that I was excited about the float this year. Usually when we start talking about it this dread comes over me when I think of the sheer magnitude of work that needs to happen in those three little weeks PSU gives us to build our masterpiece. This year was different. We had exciting, and of course, GRAND ideas of what we wanted to do and eventhough all of them didn't come to fruition I think we did an excellent job.

I will have to say that eventhough I was excited I was also sad that Micah and Sarah were not going to be there to help. From the first night to the last they were thought of and missed and I will admit that I shed more than a few tears missing them. I remember that it was this time last year at the float that Micah and Sarah had started talking about their trip turning into a two year journey. It's amazing how things can change in just a year.

The thing I cherish most about the late nights of working until we are delirious and laughing constantly is the time spent sharing life with the people around you. It is amazing to me how in those moments God shows up in incredible ways and we have amazing God conversation. It's in those moments that I have found my life changed the most. Because it's the people you roll up your sleeves with and share everyday life with that have an impact. It's those people who are able to truly speak into your life because they have shared it with you, seen you at your worst and your best. I love coming together and hearing what God is doing in people, how He is changing them and getting their perspective on things.

There were so many funny moments I could talk about. FIRESTORM! I will refrain. I will give others the pleasure of adding in comments and sharing stories. I put some of the pictures on Flickr, hopefully I will figure out how to get it on the blog site.

Micah and Sarah I love you. I just want you to know you were greatly missed.

CRAYONS!!!!!!!!

Can I just say that one of my favorite parts of setting up my classroom at the begining of a new school year is opening the new supplies. Opening the boxes of crayons is like opening a world of possibilities. You lift the lid peer inside and there they are 24 sharpened little soldiers just waiting to be put into action. And the possibilities are endless. I think they are the art supply most used. They get peeled, broken, tossed, rolled, sharpened, melted, shaved, bitten and it does not matter how small they are they can be used in some way. They are plain , flourescent, muticultural, washable, glittered, twistable, fabric, even neon. If that is not enough there are over 120 different colors!! Amazing!! I want everyone to post their favorite color.

Summer is almost gone

The end of summer always bring such a mixture of sadness and joy. I am sad to leave the less hectic schedule for the crazy one. But, part of me is excited to see my students and meet the challenges of a new school year. I think that this year the scale is tipping a little more onto the side of joy. I feel like I have left one very hard season of my life with hope for calmer waters in the new season. You know what I have realised though, there is peace at the center of even the worst storms. Even thought this season was especialy hard I kept my eyes focused on Jesus and the friends I needed to support me very close and God was faithful as He always is and I have come out stronger on the other side. It is funny how big we make a problem when we hold it up close to our eye, but amazing how small it becomes when you set your eyes where they belong. I am praying for Signs, Wonders, and Miracles in this season. I am excited about what God has changed in me over this last year and looking forward to what this year is going to bring.

Ownership

I have a prophetic gift and I am taking ownership of it. This has been one of the roughest seasons of my life. Have you ever been in a place where you want something and fight against it at the same time? That is where I have been for months now. I have been wrestling with the prophetic call on my life. But I am not crying uncle I am taking ownership. After many tears, prayers, frustration and much needed truth from friends my eyes were opened to where I was living. I was in deep frustration over not understanding this gift God has given me. You know what I figured out? I can't do it myself. I need people to help me, not only that but I needed to ask for the help. And I needed to take ownership of the call on my life. People can tell you you have a gift but if you don't take ownership of it you are not going to get very far. I am not saying I have it all figured out, because I don't. But I definitely feel a weight lifted off of me and a confidence that was not there before. Embrace what God has called you to do, fighting it does not get you anywhere.

Daymares

Can I just say I am already laughing about this blog and I am only on the first sentence. I have been having way too many daymares lately. What is a daymare?, you ask. Let me define it for you. Daymare: a vision had while awake that is intense in nature during the normal course of your day and resembles some sort of dream you would have had after eating some late night pizza. I know that these daymares have been brought about by my own inability to just relax and not dwell on things. I am laughing and shaking my head at myself right now. It is good to be able to laugh at oneself.

I will share one with you.

I have been obsessing about getting this painting of a prophetic word done. I have attacked the problem from many angles to no avail. I was sitting at work completely frustrated. While working, I had this daymare.

I am talking to Scott Squires and he is telling me that I am not going to be able to help lead Revolution Church anymore because I am in complete rebellion about the painting. I yell at him several times and tell him that I don't care what he says I am not painting it. I say that I have restarted the painting 12 times and I am not doing it anymore. He says, you are going to take me to your studio right now, I want to see these paintings.(apparently I have a studio I know nothing about) So, I take him to the studio, we are standing in the middle of the room. Now mind you I have not only painted the painting 12 different times I have also covered every wall with trees. He just looks at me and says, There is nothing wrong with any one of these paintings.

Crazy isn't it!

Anyway, the other one is too sad to share. Keep looking on the blog though there may be future daymare postings.

Living with Purpose

What a fantastic journey our lives would be if we lived like Jesus was standing in our presence. I have been pondering on this for a while. Tennyson senior came and spoke at Rev Church a month or so ago and he put a chair right in the middle of the gazeebo like Jesus was sitting in the seat. And over the past couple of weeks Scott has made references like that as well.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that I always think about Jesus being right there with me in the hard times. You know, the hard seasons when you feel like no matter how much you pray you can't hear His voice. No matter how much you read His word its like reading stereo instructions. I know some of you are laughing right now. Only because you know what I mean, we all have been in those seasons.

There is amazing power in realizing that He is there in every moment. Every moment. Not just when we need Him or call out to Him, every moment. That realisation can cause your life to be a fantastic journey. It gives Him the opportunity to move in you, to use you as a tool in your everyday life. It causes you to be a light in a dark place.

The more I thought about it the more I became aware of the things I was saying at work. The jokes that you know you should not laugh at but sometimes do and you try to make yourself feel better by saying that it was inappropriate. How effective is your light shinning if you are laughing right along with everyone else? I say this because God has been talking to me about it, even now as I sit here writing. Would you make that joke or that sarcastic comment if you lived like He was standing right beside you? Ouch. That one hurt me.

I pray for people all the time, my friends, family, co-workers, students and it dawned on me....what if I am part of the answer? What if I am missing an opportunity because I am not recognizing that God is right next to me. Now, don't get me wrong I am not acting crazy or being inappropriate with these people. But what if I just made myself more aware? Thought a little more before I spoke. And spoke with confidence when God asked me to.

I know that God is calling me to a higher standard in these days.

I want my life to be a fantastic journey.

On a journey for Joy

I love it when I am in the midst of a trying day and God sends me people who are dear to me to give me what I need most, His word. My dear friend Andrea called me a couple days ago at the end of what seemed to be yet another trying day in this long difficult season I seem to be in. She gave me this scripture that I want to share with everyone. I am still chewing on it myself. It is out of the message bible, Colossians 1:9-12 "We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul-not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is a strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."

I was having a conversation with another dear person in my life, Rana, and she said that it did not seem that I had Joy in what I had been doing over the past few months. I am not sure how I got to that place. Then Andrea told me she is doing a study on Joy. Now I am on a journey myself. I was reading another scripture in Ezra about Joy, and it was talking about these people weeping loudly for Joy. Since then this question has been going thru my mind: When is the last time you wept loudly for Joy?

God will help you Overcome

I love it when God comes into a conversation and changes the atmosphere. I was hanging out with some of my dearest friends last night and God dropped in the midst of our conversation and it was truly amazing. So, today I give one of my favorite scriptures to that very group of people in the way of encouragement and as a challenge. 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." God will help you to overcome every situation, every barrier no matter how big you think it is , no matter how tall you think the wall is, God is bigger. We are not to be a fearful people. God did not create us to live in fear. I challenge each of you to take a leap of Faith! Take that jump because God is right there. Reach out and grab hold of what He has for you, it is within your grasp. No matter what battle you are facing or in the midst of it is worth the fight. Not only is it worth the fight but God has already given you the tools necessary to win. Don't try to do it in your own strength, do it in God and pull on the strength in the friends around you. If you do amazing things will happen.

Schools out for the summer!!

Yesterday was the close of what seemed to be a long school year. The last day of school is always strange to me. By the last month of school we, by we I mean teachers, are counting down the days till summer break. Then the last day of school comes and I am so excited and also a little sad. You spend the whole year trying to reach these kids as well as teach them. And even though I am exhausted, emotional, irritable, and feel like I have run out of ideas I can't help but let a smile creep across my face. I love these kids, even in their most terrible moments, I love them.

Art Shows, Art Shows and more Art Shows

Well this has been a crazy week filled with art show after art show. Monday and Tuesday I hosted the conference art show at my school. There are 10 schools in our conference. That's a lot of teachers to organize and a lot of artwork to get hung on the walls. There were a few tense moments but I would have to say that it was very successful. I got complements from my Principal and Superintendent so I am happy. I have a love /hate relationship with the conference art show. I hate that it is so much work but I love to see what the other schools have been working on and I enjoy the fact that the students get the chance to be celebrated. Then we took that show down and I started putting up artwork K-12. Friday evening was the Elementary Night of the Arts. The kindergarten students were so adorable. They did so well singing in front of everyone. Then we had the Middle school/ High school Night of the Arts on Saturday night. Complements again so the hard work payed off. Monday I will be sponsoring the 6th grade class trip to Wilson Creek Battle Field. Pray for my survival.

Smokey the Bear

My poor Dad is completely embarrassed about his accident this weekend and is having to endure more than a couple of funny remarks. My brother is calling him Smokey the Bear. I find no humor in the situation and am very thankful to God that he is alive. For those of you who have not heard he tried to set some brush on fire. He poured some gasoline on it and let just say there was an explosion. He now has second degree burns all over his face and all the way up one arm. I shudder to think what would have happened had he not had on his glasses. Needless to say he is in pain and has some pretty nasty looking blisters that are oozing grossly over his bandages. I wanted to cry when I saw him. Can just say that I would mind a few weeks of a really boring life.

The Best of Times and The Worst of Times

Friday. Friday Friday Friday. Normally a day I love. This last Friday....not so much. I started out my day by locking my keys in my car once I got to school. Can I just say that given the emotional state I was already in about the funeral I wanted to have a complete meltdown right there at my car. Thankfully I have Jesus. I went into the principals office and he got a locksmith to come out...... no meltdown and 25.00 later I had my keys. I just had to laugh at the humor of my life. Things like that are always happening to me. When I am at my worst most emotional point some unlucky thing happens. I really am unlucky. But you know the more I think about it I am very lucky in my unluckiness. Ha Ha. (Patti that was for you.) Let me explain. God always meets me in those moments. He gives me this ability to laugh it off, which I find to be an unusual reaction, because I know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I don't get mad or angry, I just laugh and shrug it off. I just trust that God is going to take care of it. Any way all that to say the rest of my school day went by pretty uneventfully. I went to the funeral. I grabbed hold of all the Jesus on the inside of me and sat behind my students to support them the best way I could. The funeral was packed. The slide show made me want to ball my eyes out. Afterward we went thru the line to pay our respects to the family. I had no idea what I was going to say, never having met his family. When I saw his mother she grabbed hold of my hand, smiled so big and said,"Miss P", well needless to say my eyes welled up at this point I said something about having a heart for him and how sorry I was. I have never met this woman before. Then I realised that she must have remembered me from my speech at his eighth grade graduation. You see his class was the first eighth grade class I had. God really gave me a heart for that class. They asked me to speak for them at graduation. I really put my heart into that speech. My love for those kids must have been evident because she remembered me. That gives me amazing hope that I am having an impact on these kids. Then I got the amazing privilege to have Revolution Church Prayer in my home. It was an amazing night. The young laddies from the youth group joined us and we had an amazing time together in the presence of God. Then we got to end the day by serving and going to clean the Church. Can I just say that God is good, and even in the moments that should be the worst God gives us amazing Joy.

Pa

My grandpa was the best man I have ever known. Pa, such a small name for a man who was larger than life. Have you ever had a person in your life that you know had a great deal to do with you being who you are? Pa was that person in my childhood. I thought he was capable of anything. He never met a stranger and was kinder than I thought possible. He taught me to be a servant before I ever knew what that meant. He was always doing small kindnesses for people. You know like, fixing things, organizing things and taking your car and filling it up with gas. When I was hurt I would run to him, cause nothing could hurt you when you were in those big strong arms. He lavished me with a gift more precious to me than gold, his time. He was never too busy for me. Never short with me, even though I am sure my brother and I pestered him at times. After we moved from Detroit to Memphis he would send me letters. He would start off by saying,"I am sitting here in the car waiting for Ma to finish grocery shopping(Pa drove Ma everywhere and almost always sat in the car) I was doing a crossword puzzle, which he loved, and I thought I would write you this note." He would go on and tell me all the little details about his life, you know the everyday little things. I never knew then how much I would cherish those letters now. He would speak of how much he missed us and how important family was and how many deer he had seen at the cottage. He was a very wise man.

I have been thinking about him a lot over the past couple of months. I see glimpses of him in me at times and it makes me smile. He loved to listen to Dean Martin. Every time I hear one of those songs I can see my grandpa at his cottage on the lake sitting at the picnic table. He has on a jacket, long pants and a fisherman's hat even though its hot but there is a bit of a breeze.The sun is going down. He is listening to Dean Martin on his small radio. It brings joy to my heart to think of him that way. Anytime I get a chance to visit the cottage a flood of memories of him washes over me.

He has been gone for a long time now, he died when I was in high school, about 19 years. I love and cherish him and hope that everyone has a Pa in their life.

I NEED JESUS

I know I have not written in awhile. Can I say I just didn't feel like it with everything that has gone on I was too sad. If I can be really honest right now, today I feel like a failure as a teacher. Today I look at these kids and think I have not made a bit of difference. Nothing went right today at school. I could not get my middle school boys under control. I am angry. Angry because I failed as a teacher to get them under control, and because I know they are better kids than this. They need Jesus. And today was one of those days where I just looked at them and thought I am not making one bit of difference. I know we don't live by our emotions but can I say that today was rough. And to add fuel to the fire, they found my students body. They are going to have the funeral on Friday. Part of me is so relieved for his his family and the students to be able to have closure. The emotional part of me says that I don't think I can handle it and that I have nothing to offer these kids. Then the Jesus in me rises up to remind me that I do, it's been an ongoing battle today.

Heartbroken

The reason I love being a teacher is because God has given me such a heart for the kids at my school. As I sit here with tears streaming down my face I have to say it is also what makes days like today seem almost unbearable. I lost one today. And my heart is breaking in a way that I didn't even know was possible. This young man, now a sophomore, was one of the eighth grade boys from my first year of teaching. God really gave those boys a special place in my heart and I know that I will carry each of them with me all of my life. That's what makes this truly devastating to me. In eighth grade he was a wonderful student and just a great kid all around. He got to high school and really made some bad choices. I found out today that he and two other boys tried to go canoeing down a flooded river after school yesterday. The two boys made it to shore but he did not. They still have not found his body. What has even more of an affect on me is hearing the kids at school say things like,"well at least he was a Christian." This breaks my heart in a whole new way. Because he was not living like he was. He was in complete rebellion. And what makes me want to scream is that these kids don't have any idea what being a child of God really means. And I know that I have to walk back into that classroom tomorrow and I don't know what to say to these kids. I want desperately to be able to comfort them and show them who God really is. Days like this one remind me how desperate these times really are and that we have to embrace every opportunity God gives us to speak to someone. Please pray for his family and for the students at my school. This is going to be a rough time for them. My prayer is that God will use this situation for His good and maybe out of this some of his family and friends will see God.

Unacceptable!

I find all of this sickness to be completely unacceptable at this point. I had to make a third trip to Urgent Care today. Ex rays, a breathing test and another steroid shot later, I am now on two inhalers and pain medication. Unacceptable! The fact that I can't breath right is even more unacceptable. And if I can be honest, a little scary. It is not a great feeling to feel like no matter what you do you can't get enough air. And if I can be even more honest, what's wrong with me? I have been prayed over several times. I believe in healing. I have been healed before. What makes this time different? Frustrated-that is my word for the day.

ADD

Patti..... as my bestest best friend I know you will appreciate this blog. I am suffering from a bout of ADD today. I do this sometimes. Patti knows better than anyone about these sudden attacks that I have. I am not sure what brings them on. But I will have days where all my thoughts try to rush out of my head at the same time. Patti is usually on the receiving end of these kind of ramblings. We will be in the car, off on some grand adventure, and I will change the subject five times in one breath or ask several questions without giving room for an answer. Then I will look over and she will be staring at me like I am a little crazy. Then we both laugh and say it's going to be one of those kind of days. Patti I know you are smiling right now while you are reading this.

Today, I had several names for my blog: Take a deep breath, Burning the candle at both ends, My grandpa is the best man I have ever known ,& Family-not just something your born into. So, you can see why I chose the title I did. I think maybe this current bout of craziness is due to the fact that I have been in the house for the last three days. Being this sick is really unacceptable. Today is the first day I can take a deep breath without coughing my lungs up. We go along everyday breathing, we don't have to think about it our body just does it without thinking. Well let me tell you, you think a lot about it when you can't do it very well. It truly is an awful feeling not being able to catch your breath. Anyway, I am feeling much better today. Thank you God for making me stop and rest so I could heal. The whole experience has made me think of all the times over the last several weeks when my friends have told me I was doing to much. Burning the candle at both ends does not get you anywhere except exhausted quickly. I think I may go take a nap. I will save the other two blog titles for another day.

Hope everyone is doing well.

What's in a name?

Why would I name my blog Miss P.? I know some of you are snickering. It's ok. Everyday when I enter thru the doors of the school where I teach I can't help but let a smile spread across my face. You see everyday I am greeted with things like, "What's up Miss P.?" or "Miss P. I am so glad your here I have a story I want to tell you." If you had told me on my graduation day that I would live my life as Miss P. I probably would have laughed at you. How did I become Miss P? Well, it's easy, you see my first year of teaching I had a middle school class of almost all boys. Enough said. Anyone who has spent any time with a large group of middle school boys knows that from the first moment it left one boys lips there was no turning back. Now I guess I could have been a stick in the mud kind of teacher and made them call me Miss Paterni, but I knew from the moment it was said it was not poking fun, it was a term of endearment. Now there have been other names that have come along, Miss Paturkey or Miss Pepperchili, but I prefer Miss P. I am that teacher...you know the one that wears jeans every chance she gets, and wears her converse even with nice black pants. My shoelaces are checkered in the schools colors. I take the time to listen to kids stories. I notice when they are not doing well and ask if there is a way I can help. I don't have a problem with correcting them by my standards instead of the standards of this world. I love these kids even when they seem unlovable. God has given me such a heart for them it hurts. I tell them how much I care about them especially when they say I don't. I laugh sometimes at the humor of God. He set me to work in a mission field that I hated while I was growing up. I thought school was the worst place on earth. Now I can't imagine being anywhere else. I don't know how well I am going to do at this blogging thing. I am not much of a writer but I thought I would give it a try.